Not Who We Used To Be: Secret Reports
by Where Is Your King Mickey Now
Summary: A collection of drabbles set within the AU of "Not Who We Used To Be." This chapter; Isa goes home.
1. A Rock and a Hard Place

A/N: Hello again! Even though "Not Who We Used To Be" only concluded like...last week, I've already got a short story for you! A good portion of this was already written long before the last of the story was released, so I'm excited to finally be able to share it with everyone. And hopefully it's just the first of many. :)

If you haven't read my previous fics, welcome! But you'll almost certainly want to read "Missing the Sun" and "Not Who We Used To Be" first, or this fic will make very little sense.

As with "Not Who We Used To Be," this fic is a collaborative effort between myself, nerdforsale, and http : / / chaosxthemailman . tumblr . com / (who does not have an ffnet account). Thank you and enjoy!

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His lower half was over the edge, and Leon had only a moment of scrabbling, just long enough to see Isa frozen between himself and the giant Heartless that had sent Leon flying, before his upper body followed. He managed to catch his fingers around an uneven stone, just barely stopping his momentum before he could fall to his death. His gunblade wasn't so lucky; it tumbled end over end for a few seconds before clattering to the stone a hundred feet below. Leon's feet dangled in the open air. The section of floor he'd fallen from was more of an outcropping then a cliff. There was nothing to brace his feet on to push himself up. It was all he could do not to panic. He broke out in an instant cold sweat, barely keeping from hyperventilating. Leon tried to haul himself up, but he couldn't get enough leverage. He couldn't lift his weight with just his arms while barely clinging to the stone by his fingertips.

Oh god, there was no way he could save himself. His fingers were burning from holding his weight; he couldn't possibly pull himself up like this. It had only been a few seconds, but already his hands were starting to sweat badly. He wouldn't be able to hold on more than a minute, if that. But he could still hear the redhead calling for help; there was no way Isa would abandon him, trapped in the Heartless's clutches, to save Leon. No way.

He was going to die. Oh god, _he was going to die_. Leon clenched his eyes shut, feeling his fingers start to give. There was no way Isa could rescue the redhead before Leon fell. He wasn't coming for him. Leon was going to-

_"Squall!"_

Strong hands clamped onto Leon's forearms, yanking him up a bit. Leon gasped, his head snapping up; Isa was there, keeping him from falling, looking as frightened as Leon could ever remember seeing him. But...what? This didn't make any sense. Wasn't-?

Isa grabbed the back of Leon's jacket, hauling him back up onto solid ground. Leon ended up half-sprawled on the paving stones, gasping to catch his breath after that fright. He jerked his head up to look at his brother, to ask him- but Isa was already on his feet, lunging for the claymore that had been dropped where Isa had stood when Leon went over the cliff. Lea was still yelling, squirming to try and free himself from the Heartless' grasp. But as desperately as Isa ran, it was clear he wouldn't be in time; Leon watched in frozen fascination as the Heartless reared back, ready to dash the redhead against the groun-

A Fire spell slammed into the Heartless, and then suddenly a blitz of flashing metal had it on the defensive. It dropped the redhead in the face of Sora's' assault, needing both forelimbs to try and protect itself. But it was no use; the Heartless stood no chance against the Keybearer, and the fight was over nearly before it had begun.

Isa skidded to a stop beside where the redhead lay sprawled on the ground. He dropped a hand onto Lea's back, bending over him worriedly.

"Lea! Are you alright?"

The redhead grumbled to himself, digging his fingers into the ground at Isa's touch. He swatted the other's hand away and promptly stumbled to his feet. He spoke quickly, an unusual iciness in his voice.

"Just peachy."

Isa frowned guiltily. "Lea-"

Lea refused to make eye contact. Instead, he stalked off, waving his hand in dismissal.

"Lea!" Isa rose to his feet, reaching a hand out and making an abortive half-movement after the redhead. After a moment, he let his hand drop, frowning deeply.

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It wasn't long before Isa caught up with the redhead. He'd given him a little while to cool down, but Isa didn't want to let it go for_ too _long. He found Lea sitting on a broken ledge looking off into the canyon, his back to Isa as the man approached. Isa stopped about ten feet behind the redhead, frowning deeply.

"...Lea, please be reasonable."

"Buzz off, Isa. I don't wanna hear it."

Lea kicked his feet against the rock beneath him, watching intently as a stone rolled down the cliff. After a moment of silence he turned his head, glaring at Isa.

"Well? Get lost," he spat. He eyed the other for all of two seconds before snapping back around, fixing his gaze on the landscape ahead of him.

Isa sighed. "Lea, please. I understand why you're angry, but-"

"I SAID GET LOST. I don't have anything to say to you."

Isa's frown shifted into a scowl then. "Lea, you cannot_ possibly _be taking this personally. It isn't as if I deliberately abandoned you."

"Oh?" Lea picked himself up, turning slightly to Isa, fists clenched. "That's a good one, buddy. Then what happened back there if you weren't turnin' your back on me? Maybe I'm just blind, Isa. Please, enlighten me, since I'm just taking a life or death situation personally."

Isa's first instinct was to glance away from Lea's eyes, but he squashed that feeling down. He wasn't going to evade this.

"Lea, it wasn't a conscious decision. He was falling and I reacted. I was coming back for you."

"Nice to see I'm not your 'conscious' priority then. Do you really think that's makin' me feel any better? Sheesh, leave me to rot why don'tcha."

He shifted his glare to the ground.

_"Not like it's anything new for you," _he hissed under his breath.

Isa reeled back for a moment as if he'd been slapped. His mouth worked silently for a moment as he stared at the redhead.

"...Lea, how can you _say_ that?" Isa stepped forward as his brain chugged back into gear, gesturing helplessly with one hand. "I left _everything _behind to help you! Do you even know what-" Isa cut himself off, scowling. He'd never spoken to Lea about what had happened between when Axel had faded and when Lea'd been restored, and he wasn't about to start now.

"I can say whatever the hell I want! Since you're apparently willing to toss everything out the window for just about anyone it seems! Don't I feel ~special~."

He opened his mouth to spit out more venom, but exhaled loudly instead. Fuming, he put his hand to the bridge of his nose, clenching his eyes closed in pain.

"Just leave me alone already."

Isa glared. "You cannot possibly stand there and tell me that if that had been Roxas, you wouldn't have done the exact same thing."

Lea's eyes flickered open. Isa went and lit the match.

"How DARE you bring up Roxas! How..." he stalked towards Isa.

"...how dare you bring up Roxas, when he's GONE. At least you have me! At least you have your family. I'm all out of people to just carelessly toss aside, unlike you! Do you feel like the bigger man now, Isa? What point are you trying to prove here, other than your complete insensitivity," Lea seethed, intent on holding Isa's stare. And Isa didn't look away. He matched Lea's glare with his own stern look, staying silent for a long moment.

"...knowing how it feels to lose a child, how can you expect me to have let Squall die?"

Lea stepped back.

"Go. Now."

Isa closed his eyes with a soft sigh. Then, he turned and walked away.

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"Why would he save me first? It doesn't make any sense."

Aerith frowned, setting a cup of tea in front of Leon before sitting down with her own.

"Because he _loves you_, Leon. He loves all of us."

Leon snorted, glancing off to the side and muttering. "Not as much as he loves that-..."

Aerith's frown turned into a scowl. "That's not true and you know it. Or at least you _should."_

"Isn't it?" Leon returned her scowl with one of his own. "He's _always _been..._obsessed _with him. And the minute that Nobody showed up, he ran off and abandoned us, didn't even pop by to tell us he was fine-"

"That's not fai-"

"It _is _fair! It's the tru-"

"No, it's _not_." Aerith was actively glaring at Leon now. "Squall, he was unconscious for three weeks because of that back wound. He _couldn't_ come back. You'd know that if you actually _asked _him where he was instead of just picking fights!"

The words Leon was about to say died in his throat. He scowled, pacing a turn around the room for a moment, before turning back to Aerith, pointing at her.

"I tried to talk to him. He didn't want to talk."

Aerith just batted Leon's hand away from her face. "No, you attacked him the minute he walked in the door. How did you _think_ he was going to react?"

"So you think it's fine, then! That he just- threw us away for that guy, even once he was _gone_-"

"_Of course_ I don't think it's fine!" Aerith had shot to her own feet, her voice cracking. "Do you think it didn't hurt me, too, watching him fall apart? Knowing there was nothing I could do? I'm not saying he was right. But attacking him wasn't going to help things, Squall!"

Leon's eyes dropped to the floor and he gritted his teeth. "You don't understand-"

"_What_ don't I understand?" Aerith demanded. "What it was like to be too wrapped up in how upset _I_ was to see how badly hurt _he_ was? He talked to me, Squall. He talked to me, because I actually _listened _and didn't judge him. I'm sure he would have talked to you, too, if you'd been willing to hear him." She frowned as Leon turned away, scowling. Aerith walked to his side, putting her hand on his shoulder.

"...it's not too late, you know. I know you were only trying to fix things. He does, too. You just...were going about it the wrong way." Leon scoffed softly, and Aerith frowned. "I'm serious. I can tell you how I think he felt all day, but it won't mean as much coming from me. Go talk to him. You haven't since he came back."

Leon just frowned. No...he guessed he hadn't.

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Leon found him in the study under the castle. The irony wasn't lost on him; the last time Leon had been here was the last time he'd tried to talk to Isa, before everything with Sora and Lea and everything had happened. And look how that went, said a little voice in Leon's head. You _tried_ to help him and he threw you into a wall. It wasn't like-...

Isa was sitting at the desk; the cage that had held the Red Nocturne was still there, but the Heartless was gone. Well, naturally. He had a book in front of him, but Isa wasn't reading it. Instead, he was staring off into space with a light frown on his features, deep in thought. When Leon entered the room, though, he looked up. Isa said nothing, waiting for Leon to speak. Leon scowled.

"...why did you save me?"

Isa let out a deep sigh, one hand coming up to massage the bridge of his nose.

"...Squall. I cannot believe this is even a question. Have you lost that much faith in me, that you think I wouldn't?"

"What am I supposed to think." Leon scowled, leaning against the doorframe and not looking at the older man. "It's always Lea this, Lea that. You left us alone for _months _over that guy and he wasn't even around. So why would you choose to save me over him?" Despite himself, Leon's eyes snapped to Isa's face then, and he was shocked to find Isa looking directly at him, frowning sadly.

"...to be honest, I didn't think about it. I saw you go over the edge, and the next thing I knew I was there." Leon glanced away in discomfort. Isa stood, moving to stand in front of the brunette.

"Squall, all I've ever done is try to protect you and the girls. I would never stand by and let you die."

"You left us." Leon bit out, voice cracking.

"To keep you safe!" Isa scowled then. "Do you think I _wanted _to do that? _I _was nearly killed by the Organization; how could I bring that danger to your doorstep?"

"You let us think you were-"

"I sent Sora to tell you as soon as I was able."

"You could have come and told us yourself!" Leon snapped, darting a glare at Isa. But the older man just frowned.

"No, I couldn't have. Do you really think I didn't want to do that, as soon as I learned? Before then, even. I never wanted to leave in the first place. But the Organization was watching the house. If they knew how important you all were to me- how could I live with myself if they hurt you to get to me...?"

Leon looked away from Isa, giving a light scoff. But...he was having a hard time keeping his expression controlled. What Isa said...if it was true, then he really _had _been thinking of them. Maybe they hadn't been abandoned as readily as he'd thought. But it was hard to let go of his anger. So Leon just stayed silent, unable to look at Isa.

Isa sighed and started to move back to the desk. But before he could sit down, Leon's mouth opened.

"...were you...really planning to kill yourself?"

Isa stopped, hand halfway to the back of the chair. He stayed frozen for a long moment, saying nothing. Leon sucked in a breath; Isa couldn't lie to save his own life. The fact that he wasn't denying it-

"...why...?" The brunette's voice was strangled, barely able to get even that one word out.

Isa sat down slowly, resting his elbows on the desk. He interlaced his fingers, resting his forehead against his hands in silence. After a few moments, he let out a heavy breath through his nose.

"...I don't have an answer that would satisfy you. Anything I could tell you would only sound like an excuse."

"I don't care!" Leon exploded, taking an aggressive step towards the older man and throwing one of his arms out wide. "You owe us an answer! Why would you- how _could _you even-..."

Isa closed his eyes tight, face still resting against his hands. When he spoke again, his voice was very quiet.

"...Can you really not understand...? You, who went so far as to change your name from the shame of losing our homeworld."

Squall flinched back.

"...can you not understand the shame of failing a second time...? Of watching your second chance to redeem yourself fade to nothing in your hands? Knowing that you live only by the sacrifice of that precious thing. Could you bear that so easily?"

That was not the answer Squall had been expecting to hear. He'd been expecting- that Isa couldn't live without Lea or-...or that he thought no one cared about him or-...or _something! _Squall didn't know. But not that. Not-...

Isa dropped his hands then, still not meeting Leon's eyes. "...yes...I almost made a terrible mistake. But Lea stopped me. That at least should be enough to make you hate him a little bit less."

Leon's hands balled into fists. He clenched his teeth, clenched his eyes shut tight.

"...do you even understand _why_ I hate him...?" Isa looked up at the strangled sound of Leon's voice.

"_He_ came around and...and suddenly everything was about _him_. Did...did you even think about how _we_ felt...? Getting dropped like we were hot the minute he was back in the picture...?"

Isa frowned. "Squall-"

_"You didn't want to live for us, but you would for him?" _Squall snarled, raising his eyes to Isa's. Tears stood in his eyes. Silence filled the room, stretching between the two for what felt like hours. Then-

"...he was the one I'd failed." Isa almost whispered, his eyes on the desk. "...he was the only one who could offer me forgiveness."

That took Squall aback. It took him a moment to find his voice.

"..._forgiveness?_ For what-?"

Isa closed his eyes, squeezing them shut. "...I led him into danger and _he_ paid the price for my foolishness. All I could even _try_ to do to redeem myself was to free his heart, but that...it wasn't enough." Isa paused, almost started to say something more than once before he continued. "It was- ...hard not to believe...that everyone would have been better off without me. You and the girls, too."

Squall just stared, betrayal in his eyes. "How _could_ you even-... do you have any _idea_ what that would do to us...?" Isa stayed silent, refusing to meet his eyes. Squall slammed a hand on the desk. "We _need_ you! How could you even _think_ of letting us down like that?"

Isa gave a single chuckle, then burst into an unpleasant laugh. He shook his head, resting his forehead in his hand as the laughter subsided. Then he gave Leon a bitter smirk.

"That _is_ what I do, isn't it? Fail the people who matter to me."

Leon turned away in disgust, storming from the room.

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Leon returned to the house to find Sora sitting in the main room, along with Aerith and a boy with short silver hair that Leon was unfamiliar with. Good; there was something he wanted to ask the Keybearer. Ignoring Aerith and the strange boy, Leon made a beeline for Sora.

"What happened at that castle," he demanded. No beating around the bush.

Sora blinked. Not even a hello before Leon started questioning him. And about the happenings at the castle, of all things. He had thought Isa had filled them in, buuuut... apparently not.

" ... what specifically do you want to know?" Sora asked. "Kind of a lot happened, so unless you just want me to tell you everything," he shrugged, "I'm going to need something more specific than that."

"Everything," Leon demanded. "I don't even know what to start asking about, since the only thing we were told was that Axel got shot."

"... Oh. Well then." Well that only left a lot to tell. "That's actually pretty close to the beginning. We showed up and were almost immediately jumped by Nobodies. Then... I'm not sure. Xigbar shot Axel, or tried to shoot Isa and Axel got in the way. Something like that; I was preoccupied with the Nobodies and didn't see it happen." He scratched his neck, then glanced over at the strange boy. "Riku might be able to tell you. I think he might've seen it."

Sora decided to skip over his whole unpleasant meeting with Roxas; that wasn't going to be relevant to his interests, and really, Sora didn't remember it well enough to say anything. "Isa got mad and went after Xigbar- like, really, really mad. Madder than I think you guys have ever seen him. And he fell into the Darkness, a bit, so that wasn't making things better. We met up with Riku and Kairi, and went through some weird room with red headstones that were markers for the Organization." He hesitated for a moment and then continued.

"I fought one of the Organization, we ran into the King and Ansem... something happened that fixed Isa and Riku's whole Darkness thing." He shrugged. "Maleficent showed up, we left her to deal with some Heartless that showed up and fought our way to the top of the castle where we thoroughly beat Xemnas."

Leon's glance flicked to the silver-haired boy. So that was Riku.

"You saw it? Which was it? And what the hell is this about falling into Darkness?"

Riku, who had been watching Sora as he talked, glanced up at Leon. "Xigbar tried to shoot Isa, but Axel saw him in time and intercepted the shot. As for the Darkness..." He was of the opinion that it was really something Isa should tell them.

But they should know, and there wasn't any guarantee that Isa would say anything. "Isa has a deep Darkness in his heart, and he's been living with it for longer than you've known him; he got it the day Lea died, when he got that scar on his face. It's why he's so resilient and powerful. But," he went on to explain, "Using the Darkness is a constant battle to not fall into it. Especially when you start using it more for things like portals, which Isa did. When Axel died... Isa stopped fighting it. As simple as that." That probably wasn't going to be what Leon wanted to hear, but Riku wasn't going to lie to him about what went down.

Surprisingly, it was Aerith who spoke up then, as Leon was taking a long moment to process that. She set her teacup down, frowning worriedly.

"What does that mean for him, to give in to the Darkness?"

Riku shifted, a little uncomfortable with the conversation. "It depends on how deep the Darkness is and how much control someone has over it. You're never quite as in control as you think you are, but practice and strength of heart do play a big part. For Isa... All things considered, it was a fairly minimal change; he was extremely powerful, but there were a few minor cosmetic changes and a drastic shift in personality." He paused for a moment, then continued. "It could have been worse. Much, much worse. As it is, he's more or less fine now."

Leon stared down at the table, thinking. A drastic personality change...

"...so the way he was acting after he came back from the castle...that was because of the Darkness?" Riku hadn't been here; he didn't know what he was talking about. Isa had absolutely _not_ been 'more or less fine.' Far from it.

"I don't know." Riku replied bluntly. "I know what happened recently, but I wasn't here and neither was Sora for anything before that. I only have a rough idea of how Isa was acting between the events at the Castle and now. I'm willing to give you an answer, but you're going to have to tell me what was going on."

Leon glanced away from him, trying to decide what to say- and once again Aerith was the one who spoke up.

"He...wasn't himself." She looked down at her hands as she spoke. "He wasn't eating or sleeping very much, and he barely spoke to any of us. He was rarely home, and even when he was physically there, it was like he was...empty. Then he found Lea's Heartless and he and Leon fought, and he stopped coming home at all. He just holed himself up in the castle with it until Sora came and killed it. But..." Aerith raised her eyes to look at Leon, who looked away. "...I don't think that was because of the Darkness."

Riku was quiet for several long minutes, just staring at a point on the wall. Then after a while he sighed. "You're right, it wasn't because of the Darkness. Just something almost equally as consuming. It's odd, though." He glanced between Aerith and Leon "I'd have thought, after losing your world once and believing Isa to be dead for a time, that you would know what grief looks like." It was a comment directed more towards Leon than Aerith.

Leon's face twitched oddly, and he got up and walked out of the house. Aerith just sighed.

"...I'm sorry about him. He's...been having a hard time accepting Lea. I'm sure he'd much rather believe that there was some external force _making_ Isa act that way than to think he could be so affected by losing Lea."

"It's alright. Everything's been thrown for a loop around here lately. It'll take some time for him to adjust. He's going to have to get use to Lea being around someday, though. But... even if there was something making Isa act that way, I don't think it would be the Darkness." Riku frowned lightly. "It does a lot of things to you, but all of your actions are still your own."

Aerith gave another soft sigh. "That _is_ one thing that's never changed."

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Lea leaned back, tracing out the shapes in the clouds, now seemingly ablaze as the sun was setting. He probably should have headed back home already, he was significantly calmer than before, but he honestly didn't feel like seeing Isa's face quite yet. He was intent on staying out as long as he could, or at least until his eyes were less inflamed. The redhead didn't have any desire to explain himself, unless perhaps the person asking was...

"What an idiot," Lea mumbled to himself.

Suddenly, there was a painfully firm grip on Lea's shoulder. Leon spun him forcefully around to face him, then, without any warning, hauled off and decked the redhead in the face.

Lea swung backwards at the hit, bracing himself with an arm as he nearly toppled over. _'Okay, wasn't expecting that one'. _He pushed himself off the ground, eyeing his assailant with a fiery stare.

"Wanna give a guy a warning next time, tough guy?" Lea spat, swinging a fist at Leon.

"_Fuck_ you!" Leon snarled, ducking to the side before taking another swing at the redhead. "I've had it up to here with your shit."

Lea took the hit, bracing himself better this time. He swiped at his face, hiding a bit of shock when there was indeed blood present.

"Oh no! Whatever can I do to help baby with his temper tantrum?" A confident grin swept over the redhead's face as he stepped back, getting ready to take another shot.

Leon snarled, barrelling full-on at Lea in an attempt to knock him down. He knew he had a good few pounds on the redhead, so if he could just get him pinned- But Lea wasn't exactly ready to play around with someone who could break him in a heartbeat. Though if there was one thing he was good at, it was running away. The redhead awkwardly sidestepped the attack, running back for more distance from the seething brunette.

"What the hell's your problem anyway? I'm not in the mood to start with your little kid games, buddy."

He could feel blood trickling down his face again. Well, at least he didn't have to worry about puffy eyes being such a distraction.

"Well? You wanna talk like a big boy or what?"

"'What the hell is my _problem'! _What the fuck do you_ think _is my problem!" Leon snarled, jabbing an accusing finger at the redhead. "I dunno_ who _the _fuck_ you think you are, that you can just waltz in here and pull Isa away from us for months, but he spends all of _30 seconds _helping somebody in his _goddamn family _and it's boo-hoo, poor you, let's all sit back while you sulk like you're so goddamn important!"

"Get outta here, kid. Sounds to me like you've got some insecurities," Lea let out a bitter laugh at that. "I didn't 'pull Isa away'. He chose to get involved. So get your fuckin' story straight if you've got somethin to prove."

Lea let out a sigh, stepping back from Leon, but still eyeing him cautiously.

"It's tough bein' lonely, isn't it?"

Leon was taken aback for a moment. _Lonely?_ Was this guy for real? Leon quickly recovered himself, glaring.

"I don't want to hear that from _you, _seeing as_ you're _the one who caused everything."

"I'm tellin you, yer blaming the wrong guy. If you hate havin' me around so damn much, why don't you go make a case about it to Isa. He's the one who c-cares..." Lea stumbled over his words for a moment. Damnit, now was not the time to get all soft.

"...He's the one who cares about me so damn much. He's the one who wouldn't let me go. I fuckin' knew I was no good from the start, and he kept trying so much it nearly killed him. And hell, if him saving your own life back there ahead of the man he nearly died for himself wasn't proof enough- If it wasn't proof enough that he cares just as endlessly for you- you fuckin' brat. Well then I guess you're just as selfish as I am, kid.

"Don't go around pointing fingers when you're just as fucked up as I am," he growled, shifting his glare to the sun finally setting. The thought finally fluttered in his head that Isa might be worried, if he even had it in him after their argument earlier.

Leon glared at Lea through his whole speech; when the redhead finished, though, Leon was left with nothing to say. He grit his teeth, then after a moment, glanced away with a derisive noise.

"What's so special about you, anyway." he muttered petulantly. "I'm not about to make any case like that to Isa. He'd just leave with you, or he'd go back to the way he was when he came back from that goddamn castle."

"I could say the same thing about you, sheesh," Lea narrowed his eyes, before a light flickered in his expression. He grinned, slapping Leon on the shoulder- before nervously withdrawing.

"Heh, oh no. Looks like we might have to be friends," the redhead cooed, sarcasm very apparent. "Besides, Isa isn't going anywhere, you idiot. Man, is this what I sounded like earlier? Ughh. That was a joke by the way," Lea blinked, hoping he wouldn't be bracing for another smack in the face.

Leon curled a lip in annoyance, just barely avoiding batting Lea's hand away from him. He glared for a moment, then let out a clipped, annoyed sigh and turned to walk away.

"Make up with him," he called back over his shoulder. "Otherwise he'll end up sleeping at that lab desk until you do."

"Yeah yeah, don't tell me what to do!" Lea huffed. "Fuckin' teenagers," he muttered, before he found himself grinning. Leon was right, Isa was definitely stubborn enough to forego sleep until the redhead made amends. Before he knew it, his feet were already carrying him back home.

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"Hey Dr. Jekyll, you down here?" Lea's voice echoed down the steps. The castle's basement wasn't as eerie as he expected, but it was still not a... very friendly atmosphere. Aerith insisted Isa would be moping down here though. The redhead peered through the doorway, looking around for a familiar bluehaired figure.

Isa was still sitting at the desk in the study; he'd been leaning on the desk, lost in thought, but he sat up straighter when he heard Lea's voice. He turned his head to look at the redhead. But he stayed silent, waiting for Lea to speak first. Honestly, he was a little afraid to break the silence, after what had happened earlier.

"H-hey there, I'm not interruptin' some momentous scientific discovery am I," Lea joked, trying to ease the uncomfortable silence.

"...No." Isa replied hesitantly. "...why are you here?" he asked after a moment.

"Oh. Uh, well I was just checkin' up on you. Ran into Leon before, worked things out like reasonable adults y'know," he laughed. When Isa's expression didn't budge a bit, Lea continued in a half-grin.

"Thought maybe I shouldn't..." he sighed. Jeeze this was tougher than he thought it'd be. "I shouldn'ta been so- I'm sorry about before. I was out of line," he finally said, wincing a bit.

Isa blinked in surprise. "What in the world did he say to you?"

"Well, it's not so much _what_ he said," the redhead replied nervously. Isa just raised an eyebrow at him.

"I dunno man, the kid's got a serious attitude problem! Anyway, me and him are pals now! Y'know, nobody can resist my charm, huh?" Lea walked over cautiously, pausing a few feet from the desk.

"I'm sorry, Isa."

Isa stood up slowly. A moment of silence, and then his eyes dropped to the desk.

"...I'm so glad you're alright."

In an instant, the redhead rushed forward, embracing the other.

"Idiot," he muttered, ruffling Isa's hair. Isa's arms came up to wrap around Lea's back.

"...that's my line."


	2. Love

Hello again! It's been a while, hasn't it?

This drabble is based on a single-word prompt from a 50-drabble writing meme, from which I intend to do more. The first prompt is "Love." Enjoy!

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Isa loves Lea.

He's loved Lea for so long, he barely remembers a time before he realized. To an outside observer, they might seem like an odd match; Lea is all reckless energy and emotional outbursts, fiery and undisciplined and wild, while Isa is quiet and studious and incredibly self-controlled for a boy his age. But to Isa, Lea is a breath of fresh air and a beam of warm sunlight. Isa can't imagine how dull and boring life would be without Lea. He doesn't even try. After all, he'll stay by Lea's side forever.

Isa loves Buddy.

The dog was a birthday gift when Isa turned 10, intended to instill in him a sense of responsibility. But Isa didn't need the lesson; it was already in his bones, a part of him to his very core. He took to caring for the puppy immediately, never missing a feeding or a walk or failing to clean up after him or leaving him to cry if he was lonely. In return, Buddy showers Isa with loyalty and affection. Sometimes it's obvious that Lea is a little jealous, but Isa is only amused by it. He has plenty of room in his heart for both of them.

Isa loves Lea.

He's lost without him. There is no light in his life anymore; no adventures, no laughter, no bright smile to make Isa's heart soar. The empty space in his heart where Lea used to be is like an open wound. He is afraid to let anything touch it, for fear of the pain. He doesn't eat ice cream anymore, doesn't lay under the sky and gaze at the stars. Anything they used to do together merely brings Lea's absence into stark, terrible relief. Buddy is Isa's only comfort, but he is still only a dog. It's not enough to keep Isa from spiraling.

Isa loves the littles.

Before Traverse Town, Isa never spent much time around children. Getting used to suddenly living with three at once would be challenge enough; doing so while all parties are grieving is a different case altogether. But just as with Buddy, Isa cannot help but take to them. Isa quickly discovers that children, though, are very different from dogs in some ways, and in others not very different at all. They need to be fed and looked after, they need exercise and the occasional cleaning-up. But they return love in a very different way. They ask questions and tell stories, give hugs and smiles and want their hands held when they're uncertain. Isa feels a warmth around them that he had almost forgotten; the warmth of being needed by another human being.

Isa loves Lea

He's different now; snippier, more hesitant, more easily spooked. A holdover from his days as a Nobody. But he's still Lea. His snarky comments might have more bite, but it only makes the challenge of a retort more interesting. His smirk might have an edge to it now, but Isa finds the sting oddly pleasant. Isa is different now, too; and he feels that it makes them equals. And Lea is still as affectionate and charismatic as ever. His wide grins sends Isa's heart soaring and his secret little smirks set it to a strange flutter. He knows he'll be with Lea for the rest of his life. Sometimes it's obvious that the littles are jealous, but they don't need to be. Isa has enough room in his heart for all of them.

Isa loves.


	3. Flu

_This was unbearable. Isa had caught the flu, and he could not remember ever feeling so miserably sick in his 15 years of life. He'd had a fever for two days now; with blankets on he was much too hot, and with them off he was freezing. He couldn't keep down anything but broth. He could barely manage to even get to the bathroom on his own. And to add insult to injury, somehow Lea had managed to avoid getting sick when nearly the entire school had come down with the same bug. Usually Isa was the tougher one; he knew it was silly, but he still felt a bit annoyed that he'd been floored by a bug that Lea'd managed to avoid altogether._

_Isa grumbled and turned over in bed. He was tired, but he couldn't fall asleep. He hated being sick._

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_Lea really hated showing up at Isa's house uninvited, he was terrified his parents would turn him away and generally be a huge pain in the ass. But his best friend was sick, and he'd carried this soup and bread and medicine and plushies and... well a lot of probably unnecessary things- he'd carried them all the way to Isa's house to take care of his friend. That, coupled with his best puppy dog eyes, and Lea was at Isa's bedroom door in no time. The redhead knocked on the door, opening it just wide enough to peek inside._

_"Hey Isa! I brought you soup and things to maybe help you get better- whoa, you look awful!" Lea said, more in shock than concern. Not that he wasn't concerned, but all tact went out the window when the redhead was involved._

_Isa had the blankets pulled up nearly over his head, but at the sound of Lea's voice he pulled them down just enough to give the redhead a halfhearted glare. His only verbal reply was a muffled, irritated groan. Lea was sure to just be an irritating ball of energy, grating on his tired misery...or that was what he tried to tell himself. But if he was honest, Isa was sort of glad to see Lea. When he'd been coherent, he'd honestly been pretty lonely. His parents hadn't even let his dog in to see him, too sure Buddy would be troublesome and keep Isa from sleeping. He'd welcome any company, even if that company was derpy and obnoxious._

_Lea frowned, walking over to place a hand on Isa's forehead. He blinked in surprise, pulling back his hand at how /warm/ the other felt. Poor thing. Isa barely stopped himself from snatching pathetically at the redhead's wrist as he turned to walk away. _

_Lea rifled through his bag and pulled out some stuffed toys, a book, some medicine, a thermometer- most of those things Isa probably already had but you could never be too prepared! He decided against the soup for now, Isa looked too miserable to eat. Instead, Lea pulled the chair over from Isa's desk, and plopped down with his supplies. He pulled out the stuffed toy, a hideous dog... thing... with stuffing coming out from nearly every stitch. Clearly well loved. He stuck it next to a very unimpressed Isa, tucking it under the covers and looking very satisfied with himself._

_"I'll keep you company if you want. You look like you could use a friend," Lea said with a pout, sitting back down and flipping open his book._

_"Lea, how old do you think I am?" Isa grumbled a half-hearted complaint for the sake of it, but truthfully he was grateful for the company. _

_"You know, I dragged my butt all the way over here to make sure you were okay. I don't wanna hear it. Sheesh, this is the thanks I get..." Granted, Lea was a little selfish in his intentions- he rather disliked that his friend, his study buddy, lunch buddy, and personal bodyguard was out of commission. That left Lea to pester the other kids at school, but they just weren't Isa. But seeing his friend so miserable in bed, hrng, he wanted to curl up in bed and hug him and make it all okay- whoa, was that weird? No homo..._

_Lea sighed, before wagging a finger at Isa. "You should be thankful, I could get sick too y'know. But I want to make sure Crabby McStubbornpants stays in bed and rests up so he can get back to school."_

_"Back to school to cover your ass..." Isa muttered petulantly._

_Lea dropped the book on the floor, blinking at Isa, feeling completely embarrassed. What a horrible thing to say, Lea felt like packing up all his things and crawling away in a corner- but Isa, that snippy fucker, was sick and Lea was worried for him. Instead of snapping back, he picked up the book, burying away his disheartened expression._

_"I can go away if you want. I was only trying to help, but if I'm just such a bother..."_

_"Wait, no-" Isa heard himself saying, jerking half-upright and one hand just reaching out of his blanket cocoon before he realized it. He didn't mean that. He should let Lea leave, for his own good, but- he didn't want the redhead to go._

_Isa sunk back down into his blanket nest, hunching his shoulders underneath the covers. He would have been blushing if he hadn't already been so flushed._

_"Sorry..." he mumbled into the comforter._

_Lea was nearly floored by Isa's reaction. Well, if he wanted him to stay then he would._

_"I brought a book, I could read you somethin' if you want..." Lea offered, a bit apprehensive about the whole thing. "Or um, I brought you soup..." The poor kid didn't want to set Isa off again, and found himself twisting his fingers awkwardly. Isa felt a twinge of guilt._

_"...'m sorry. I didn't mean that," Isa mumbled, staring at a thread on his comforter. "Don't go."_

_Lea flushed, averting his eyes to the book on his lap. His heart skipped a beat, Isa was so delirious he was actually sort of... **affectionate.** But not like that- no homo. Lea found a smug little grin crawl on his face. He set the book on his chair, sitting on the edge of the bed and running a hand through Isa's messy hair._

_"You're too cute right now to be mad-" Cute? Oh man, what an awkward slip... "-I mean it's kind of pathe...tic..." Argh! No no no! He didn't mean that either! What a dummy!_

_But Isa wasn't about to get mad at that; he was pathetic and he knew it. But Lea's fingers running through his hair was so soothing. His eyes fluttered shut and he let out a little sigh. The sound turned into a hacking fit, which Isa cut off as quickly as he could manage. _

_No snarky reply? The poor guy really /was/ a mess. Lea kept running his fingers through Isa's bedhead, avoiding any knots. He was really enjoying the look on the sick boy's face, he seemed so content with what Lea was doing. Maybe he'd get some sleep this way, and even if that meant Lea wouldn't be able to bug him... well, he'd be happy knowing his miserable friend would be getting the rest he needed..._

_Lea started humming, smiling down at Isa. This wasn't weird, was it? This was totally what best friends did, which was totally why he wanted to snuggle all up on Isa and hold him til he fell asleep and maybe kiss his forehead when he did- that was what heterosexual best friends did, right? Totally._

_The feeling of Lea's fingers through his hair was lulling Isa into a stupor, and the humming wasn't helping. Before long he was almost in a trance. His arms came up to slip around Lea's torso, his fingers curling into the redhead's shirt. Isa mumbled something unintelligible into his blankets; something that sounded like it could have been "Don't go away." Lea's heart melted into a pile of goo, oh man, what a precious thing Isa was. He was totally eating up all this affection- by the time Isa felt better he'd be back to his normal self, which probably meant a lot less hugs..._

_The redhead leaned over, wrapping his arms around Isa and snuggling into him. "Don't worry, I'll stay here so you can sleep," he hesitated for a moment before pressing his lips to Isa's forehead. H-his mom did the same thing when he was sick! It was totally platonic!_

_...Oh, who cared. He pulled the blankets over them, rubbing Isa's arms to keep him warm. He started to feel drowsy himself, and even if it meant he'd probably catch the flu, well, he decided that getting sick was worth the sound of Isa's heartbeat._

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This was unbearable. Isa had caught the flu, and he could not remember feeling so sick since he was young. But he wasn't a teenager anymore; Isa had work to do and responsibilities to see to. He couldn't afford to be laid up in bed for days at a time.

Isa knew, though, that if anyone noticed he was sick, he would have four people very aggressively trying to get him to stay in bed. That and his desire not to infect anyone else had led Isa to hole himself up in the castle basement's lab as soon as he realized he was coming down with something. A claim that he had a very delicate project to work on and could not be disturbed was enough to deflect the littles. After all, he'd cloistered himself away for days many times in the past to finish work. Aerith even knew by now to just leave food outside the lab door, and he would eat it when he got around to it. Isa regretted not being able to sleep in his own bed, but he would definitely infect Lea that way, and he couldn't have that.

But three days sleeping in a desk chair definitely left a person sore and a bit cranky. Isa felt sweaty and disgusting enough that, though he disliked the sensation of having his hair tied back, he had put it into a ponytail to get it off his neck. He was even having trouble focusing on his computer screen. A cup of coffee would fix that, he thought. But when Isa stood to get it, he immediately got a head rush, which forced him to sit back down.

Hnngh. Isa hated being sick.

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Lea couldn't stand it anymore. The kids were all used to Isa's need to lock himself away- but well, Lea was driven up the wall by these brats, and could barely sleep without Isa in bed. Augh, what a pain in the ass. Aerith and the others insisted he'd be okay, he just needed some time to get things done, he was always like this, blah blah. The smug look on Leon's face drove Lea absolutely nuts though. That settled it, Lea would make lunch and sneak it down to Isa's little hiding place. With the redhead's charm and some delicious food there was no way he'd turn him away... hopefully.

He crept down the castle stairs, trying not to make much noise. This was an art, he needed to ambush Isa with his puppy dog eyes before the other had a chance to shoo him away. He barged in without knocking, shaking the bagged lunch he'd prepared for his boyfriend- who... looked completely awful.

"Heya, I made you some lunch- Isa! Have you even slept these past few days?"

Isa actually jumped at the sound of Lea's voice; he hadn't heard the door open, and he'd been resting his eyes. Just for a minute. He blinked rapidly for a moment, a bit dazed. ...Oh, but he'd better answer, or Lea would get suspicious.

"I'm fine. I've been sleeping. I just need another cup of coffee." Isa forced himself up, making a deliberate effort to move in a way that looked sure and easy. Don't show how wobbly you feel.

Isa paused halfway to the coffee machine. Wait, Lea was here. Which meant he could get sick too. "Wait, what are you doing here? Didn't the littles tell you I was working?"

Lea shrugged and moved over to the desk to set down the food.

"Sheesh you even have a coffee machine down here? Huh, sweet deal. And yeah, they may have mentioned something like that," he idly flipped the corner of a notebook on Isa's desk, "But I couldn't help iiiiit. Maybe they can deal without you, but I've been lonelyyyy."

Lea pouted, flopping himself in the desk chair, spinning himself around while Isa made his coffee. He stopped the chair, wagging a finger at the blue haired man. "You don't look like you've been sleeping, mister. I can smell your liiiiies. Why don't you come back home tonight, huh huh? I'll make it woooooorth iiiiiiit," Lea flirted, resting his head in his hand while leaning on the desk.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooh no. Isa knew _exactly_ what Lea was thinking of, and even if he'd had the energy for that sort of thing, Lea would _absolutely _catch his flu if he did. Nothing doing. But it was hard for Isa to say no to Lea, especially when he was being so cute and Isa was so worn down. If he wasn't so dead-set on not getting him sick, Isa wouldn't be able to at all.

Even so, he knew his resolve might crumble if he actually _looked_ at Lea, so he kept his back to the redhead, his eyes pinned to the coffee machine.

"Tempting, but I'm afraid I can't. I'll come home on my own once I'm done."

Isa poured himself a cup of coffee, but just missed trying to put the pot back, bumping it against the hot plate and spilling some on the table. He cursed, putting the pot down to look for something to wipe up the small spill with.

HAH. He was turning Lea down? Something was definitely up, and the redhead would not be taking no for an answer. Lea stood up when Isa spilled the coffee, grabbing a rag off one of the countertops. He stood behind Isa, snaking his arms over the other man's chest after dumping the rag on the spill. The redhead leaned in to press his lips on Isa's neck- and pulled away almost immediately.

"Isa! You're burning up! What the fuck, you should be in bed- Oh... Oh you little... You've been hiding on purpose haven't you!" Lea tugged the other around to get a good look at him, placing a hand on Isa's forehead.

"I'm fine," Isa grumbled, gently batting Lea's hand away from his forehead with the back of his wrist. He wouldn't admit that the coolness of his hand felt amazing against his overwarmed forehead. "I just have some work to take care of."

"Mhmm, yeah right," Lea flipped Isa's ponytail teasingly, but he was absolutely serious. "You really don't try too hard to hide these things- Oh man, Isa, I can't believe you've been sick this whole time and you've been pushiiiing yourself!" the redhead tugged on Isa's arm pathetically, putting on his best pout. "Pleeeease come back home to rest? I'll take care of you I promiiiiiiiiiiiise." Lea whined, wrapping Isa's hand in his.

Hnnngh. He knew what Lea was doing. Isa saw his game. There was no point in denying that he was ill at this point, but he couldn't give in that easily.

"No. You'll get sick." Isa tried not to look directly at Lea's face. The puppy eyes were so hard to say no to. It was even worse now that the tattoos Lea had had as a Nobody were gone; his face looked so much more boyish and innocent without them. Isa _knew_ Lea knew how hard it was for him to say no to that face. It was cheating, pure and simple.

Lea placed his hands on Isa's face, forcing him to make eye contact and smooshing his face at the same time. Ooooh that was cute, Lea couldn't resist a smile- which probably made his puppy dog eyes that much more irresistible. He was going to win this one. Isa wasn't going to suffer alone like he was so hell bent on always doing...

"Like I care. You belong in bed, this can wait, and I'm not taking no for an answer. C'mon, you can have a nice baaaath, you can have some luuuunch, and I will take care of you, you little shit," Lea frowned, tugging on Isa's shirt. "I miss you, I don't like seeing you push yourself like this..."

"Lea. You will catch it too. Better if I am quarantined so no one else gets sick-"

Hnngh. That frown. Isa could resist the begging and the puppy-dog eyes, just barely, when it was clearly being put-on, but the minute Lea actually seemed worried and upset, Isa's heart clenched right up. It was easy to dismiss Lea's worries about Isa pushing himself, but not Lea missing him. That he couldn't deal with. Isa gave a long-suffering sigh.

"...fine. If it will make you happy."

"There we go, that's much better," Lea smiled, and went to grab the lunch bag off the desk. He put an arm over Isa's shoulder, offering some support if he'd take it. Sometimes he was just too much. Lea idly reminisced over the days where Isa readily accepted the redhead's help without much of a fight... Hng, Lea was different then too, he figured.

Isa stood away from Lea as much as he could at first. He wanted to minimize the possibility of the redhead getting sick, and he was sure he could get back to the house without help.

...but it wasn't long before Isa started to suspect he was wrong. He hadn't tried to leave the lab since he'd holed up in there, so the farthest he'd had to walk was from the desk down the hall to the bathroom and back. By the time they'd exited the castle, he was already wheezing and barely holding off a coughing fit because of it. He found more and more of his weight leaning on Lea by necessity rather than choice.

Oh gosh, this poor poor thing. Lea managed to lead Isa back to the house and to his room. The house was, THANKFULLY, empty- which meant no interference from certain pests. Lea didn't feel too bad about thinking that way though, Isa was probably grateful that they weren't around either (albeit for totally different reasons). He led Isa to his bed, pulling aside the covers for the poor mess and gesturing just a little aggressively for him to GET THE FUCK IN BED.

"I'm staying put til you fall asleep by the way, I can see that gleam in your eye," Lea warned, plopping himself on a nearby chair.

Isa grumbled, visibly reluctant about getting into the bed. The walk had really tired him out, though, so he wasn't too torn up about it. He couldn't _believe_ how tired he was after just the walk.

"You want me to get in bed in my clothes?" he asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed, mostly just to be difficult.

"Complain complain complain, sheesh. Here," Lea rifled through Isa's dresser, pulling out some pajamas after a moment. He set the clothes down next to Isa and headed towards the door.

"I'm gonna get you some medicine, so get changed- I'll be right back so no funny business!"

Isa raised an eyebrow at Lea as he left. What did he think Isa was going to do, sneak out the window? The blue-haired man gave a long-suffering sigh, then eyed the pajamas. After a minute, he stood to get changed.

He discarded his dress shirt, only really now noticing how sweaty it had gotten; it was soaked straight through the back of it. And he'd even been wearing an undershirt.

Isa pulled on the pajama pants, but upon consideration, he decided that he was much too hot and gross for the shirt. He ought to put his dirty clothes in the hamper...but now that he was sitting again, he didn't really feel like getting up. Instead, he opted to shove them onto the floor and sit staring into space for a minute.

Lea tore through the cabinets, grabbing whatever looked relevant to Isa's symptoms. A bottle of medicine, an ice pack and a towel, a thermometer, a tall glass of ice water, another blanket or two. It was a wonder the redhead managed to carry everything in one trip, opening the bedroom door with a stern look that said 'Yeah you had better still be here.' His stern look quickly melted into 'oh... Isa with no shirt...' but FFFF he was sick, this wasn't time to be thinking about those things, even if it'd been threeeee whooooole niiiiiights alooooooooooooooooone.

Ahem.

"Look, I even forgot the ratty plush thing this time! Take this," Lea took Isa's hand, dropping some pills in one hand, and forcing a cup of water in the other. "You're not gonna be cold are you- Well, I'll be here if you do get... chilly..." Bad Lea! Bad!

Isa had to shake himself out of a daze. Without anything specific to concentrate on, he'd zoned right out. He barely heard what Lea said, only realizing what he wanted when he realized there were pills in his hand.

Get it together, Isa. Come on.

He popped the pills in his mouth, downing the glass of water in two gulps. Man, was he thirsty. That hit the spot. He dropped the glass onto the nightstand without incident, only then really realizing what Lea'd said.

"...what was with that thing, anyway?" he asked, referring to the ratty plush dog he vaguely remembered waking up with in his bed after a bad bout of the flu in high school.

Lea scratched behind his head, flushing just a little.

"Oh man, that thing... how embarrassing. I had him forever- y'know, I used to be pretty scared of the dark when I was a kid so he kept me company... Oh- but not in high school or anything- I was well over it by then-" Lea blinked a bit, recalling his days as a flustered, derpy little teen. He'd long since dropped the silly little fears he had, and for a moment it was a little disenchanting. How innocent he was then and how jaded he was now- Just thinking about it made him feel a little ashamed, but now wasn't the time to feel sorry for himself.

The redhead frowned a bit, grabbing the ice pack so he could wrap it in the towel. He handed it to Isa, sitting next to him on the bed, keeping his distance so Isa wouldn't throw another fit. Isa pressed the ice pack to his forehead, closing his eyes in relief.

"There's no shame in it," Isa muttered. "...I was deathly afraid of the dark well into adulthood." Until he'd made it his own. He'd even still been frightened of it when he'd met Lea again, as much as he hated to admit it. Isa's eyes fluttered back open.

"...you know, it's been nearly a year now."

Lea turned to Isa, a little bit of surprise on his face. He scratched his forehead, a little awkward from the sudden topic change.

"So you've been keeping track huh? I guess it has been awhile- uh, seems a little strange though," the redhead shifted a little, placing his hand on top of Isa's. "I guess it couldn't have meant much to me at the time but... I'm glad I was still Lea to you. Even if I was scared at the time. Even if I kept making all those mistakes. I'm just happy I'm here now- Even if I have to hunt you down to make sure you're not working yourself to death."

Lea let out a laugh, slinking his arm around Isa in a loose embrace, hoping he wouldn't shove the redhead away. Lea really couldn't care less if he got sick, he just wanted to be around Isa. By his side. It was an awful feeling to be so far away, he felt like after all they'd been through it wasn't right to be apart.

"Of course you were Lea to me." Isa's voice was gently chiding. "We both grew up. We were both different. That didn't change who you were, deep down. You still remembered the Isa I used to be, didn't you?"

He knew he should pull away from Lea, but he just didn't have the heart. Even if the cool hadn't felt so nice against his skin while he was sick. He didn't like being away from Lea either, not after how hard he'd worked to get him back. He didn't want to get Lea sick, but...

"Besides," he heard himself tease, "Getting scared and making silly mistakes had "Lea" written all over it."

Lea had the right mind to smack Isa after that comment, but he found himself clinging tighter instead. "Oh yeah, I remember all right. Still a jerk to this day, but for some reason I can't get enough a' you," he grinned, pressing his lips to Isa's shoulder.

"Don't do that. You'll get sick," Isa chided automatically. But he was starting to feel too tired to care. No, of course he cared. He couldn't have Lea getting sick because of him. But without anything to distract him, Isa was swiftly losing the fight for lucidity. He definitely felt fuzzy...

Isa slowly tipped over to lean against his headboard.

"You worry too mu- Isa! Are you alright?" Lea got up, offering to help the other into bed. He pulled aside the blankets and sheets, nudging Isa to get under the covers. "Aw man, now you've got me worried. I can't believe you've been pushing yourself in this state- Augh. Isaaaaaa."

Isa let himself be bullied into the bed; he wouldn't admit how nice it was to just lie down. It wasn't like he wouldn't be fine otherwise, it was just pleasant to be in the bed after three days away. Of course. Lea hovered over the bluehaired man, and suddenly found himself brushing through his tangled mess of hair. Poor thing, even if Isa was the most precious thing when he was barely together... Lea pulled the stray hairs off Isa's face, gently running his fingers through the man's hair. Man was he gorgeous, even if he was totally under the weather. Operation: Lull Isa to Sleep was now in effect, he'd have this man resting up in no time.

Lea's fingers running through his hair was putting Isa into a stupor. An old memory floated up in his mind; one more than ten years old, and fuzzy even when it was new. But the feeling brought it back, of being 15 years old and having his best friend lulling him to sleep.

"I'll be alright. Don't worry about me."

"Yeah right, I'm gonna worry about you whether you like it or not! One of these days you're gonna work yerself to death..."

Isa shifted his head so that his cheek rested against Lea's thigh. His fingers curled against the redhead's knee.

"...no, I won't..." he mumbled, eyes half-lidded as Lea soothed him half to sleep. "...you'll always be there to pull me back."

Hnng, Lea's heart nearly skipped a beat. Isa was never like this, ever. Moments like these, well, Lea kept them in a special place in his memories. The redhead smiled, nearly ready to cry. It was true, whenever Isa needed him, well, Lea would be there. No matter what happened when he didn't have a heart...

"Yeah, I'm not going anywhere," he cooed, stroking Isa's long blue hair. "Who else will put up with me," he laughed, "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I love you too much, so, I guess you're stuck with me."

Lea leaned over to press a kiss to Isa's shoulder. He leaned back on the headboard, letting Isa fall asleep on his lap. He didn't have the heart to move him, not when he looked so content. In a matter of a few minutes Lea could barely keep his eyes open either, drifting off not far behind Isa.


	4. Returning the Favor

A/N: This chapter written by Vex (Ocean's Tale/Lathrine) and Xion (hanyounomiko).

(Part of a set of drabbles Vex has been plotting. A bit of background; Lea and Riku all have been gradually remembering Xion, until they eventually remember everything. Once he remembers, Riku needs some time alone.)

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After Riku left the house, he wandered for a bit, trying to find a sufficiently secluded place to have some time by himself. He didn't really want to be bothered for a while. The Keybearer quickly settled on the Bailey, where he could just stare at that stupid castle and no one was likely to pass by, courtesy of the Heartless in the area.

Riku leaned forward, one hand resting on the sill and the other pressed to his temple as he stared at the canyon and castle without really seeing either. And he stayed that way even when, after he didn't know how much time had passed, footsteps echoed into the Bailey behind him. Isa stepped forward beside Riku, leaning both arms on the sill and staring out at the castle, as well. He didn't speak; just letting his presence assure Riku he was not alone.

It was a few minutes before Riku emerged from his own (miserable) thoughts and actually noticed that Isa was there. Once he did, he couldn't help but feel grateful. Partially because Isa had waited and given him time, mostly because he had been in a very similar situation not too long ago and knew what it was like. Something that neither Sora or Kairi would get.

Cheeks still wet, Riku drew a shaky breath and brought his hand down to rub at one red eye. "Hey." His voice was thick and quiet, but more or less steady.

Isa nodded to show he'd heard. "…how are you doing?"

Riku briefly considering insisting that he was fine, but since he had to look far from 'fine' it seemed rather pointless. "Honestly? Not that great." Which felt like a bit of an understatement, considering how much it hurt. "But I'll live."

Isa nodded again. He went quiet for a minute or two, then let out a soft sigh. "It's hard, isn't it." It was more of a statement than a question. He turned his head to look at Riku. "…are you glad you remembered her?"

After a moment, he finally glanced over at Isa. "… Yes. Absolutely yes. I just…" Riku looked away again. "I wish I hadn't forgotten her in the first place."

"That isn't your fault." Isa recalled the year in which he and his family had all forgotten Sora. He knew it was Namine's doing; she'd had a good reason, but nonetheless none of them could have overcome her magic. "…although I know that doesn't make it any easier."

Rik made a noise of acknowledgement. "I still feel like a horrible person for forgetting." And he seriously doubted that feeling would go away any time soon. She had to die so Sora's memories could be returned and he could wake up, and all Riku did was forget about her. Even though he had known there was a good chance that would be the outcome… Just how much do you have to suck at being a good person to do something like that?

Isa sighed. He knew very well, what survivor's guilt was like. "…I know it's pointless to say you shouldn't. But if it's any consolation, it was clear that you somehow knew you had forgotten someone."

That made Riku look over at Isa once again. "… It was?"

Another nod. "You and Lea both. If you spoke about the time Sora was asleep, you sometimes trailed off, as though you thought something you said made no sense. Occasionally you would change a subject mid-sentence. And occasionally Namine would say something…cryptic, and you would stop and stare into space." Isa tilted his head just slightly. "Do you not remember?"

"Now that you've mentioned it, I do. But only vaguely." But, somehow, it was a consolation. To know that he had clearly known he was forgetting someone important. He took another steadying breath, then released it in a sigh. "… That does help, a bit. Thank you."

"Of course."

Isa turned his head back to look out towards the castle. The castle, where…

"…Sora will help her. He saved Lea. I'm sure he'll be able to save her too. Don't give up hope."

'Don't give up hope'… easier said than done. "I can't make any promises, but I'll try."

"That's all you can do…" Isa said quietly. "That, and trust in Sora."

"That…" Riku looked back to the castle. "That I can try to do. It's just…" His voice cracked. "Everything seems to be saying that there's nothing we can do." Hell, even _he_ thought that. "I don't know what to do. It just feels so hopeless." He pressed his palms to stinging eyes, elbows resting on the windowsill.

In that moment, for once, Riku seemed his age. It was easy to forget he was only seventeen. No older than Isa was when Radiant Garden fell. Isa let his eyes fall. He stared blankly down at his hands for a few minutes, deep in thought.

"…I tried to kill myself, after Sora killed Lea's Heartless."

Riku's head jerked up, eyes immediately on Isa. He was quiet for a long moment, just watching Isa. "… I was worried you were going to try something." He finally, quietly said. He hesitated, then- "Why?" But right then, he felt kind of like he might know the answer.

"A few reasons." Isa's eyes were drawn back to the castle in the distance. "…I _did_ feel hopeless…empty. I hated myself for my failure. I thought that it was only a matter of time until I failed again." He took in a short, clipped breath, dropping his eyes again. "…for all my strength, I could not even save one person."

His sight drifted from Isa down to the canyon below, tired of staring at that horrible castle. Hopeless, empty, hating himself for failing… "That sounds familiar."

"But Sora saved me." He let his gaze blur, looking not at the castle, but past it. "He saved Lea, and in doing that he saved me as well. He gave me another chance…and proved that there is always hope, even when things seem bleakest." Isa turned to Riku then, making eye contact with the boy. "I took that step forward myself, but Lea pulled me back. Sora gave me that. He's a miracle worker, that boy. If he could even save me….he'll bring your friend back."

If his mood and the situation had been different, Riku might have smiled. As it was, he almost gave a very watery one. "No, not a miracle worker. He just has the insatiable urge to help every single person he can, and the knack for being at the right place at the right time. But…" His eyes had started to sting again, though Riku just ignored it. "I hope you're right."

Isa straightened up then, placing a comforting hand on Riku's shoulder. "…take the time you need. We'll be back at the house, if you need us." He gave the boy's shoulder a reassuring squeeze, then dropped his hand, turning to walk away and leave Riku to his thoughts.

"Isa, wait-" Before he had gotten too far, Riku reached out and snagged Isa's sleeve. After a moment, his hand dropped back down to his side. "I-" He made a helpless gesture. "Thanks. Just… thanks."

Isa watched him for a moment, then smiled softly. He dropped a hand onto the boy's head, ruffling his hair gently.

"I was only returning the favor."

With that, he released the teenager and turned to go.


	5. Sunlight

A/N: Wow, I wrote this drabble around Christmas, and then promptly forgot all about it. Whoops.

This chapter written entirely by hanyounomiko. Set between KH1 and KH2.

oOo 0 oOo 0 oOo 0 oOo

It seemed like such a short journey, for such a long distance. The gummi ship felt much smaller than it had eight years ago. The three that had been small children during Radiant Garden's fall were now almost fully grown. But the cramped quarters did nothing to dampen the mood on the ship. Aerith and Yuffie were positively beside themselves with excitement, though Yuffie was much more aggressive about it. Even Squall seemed excited, in his own way. Only Isa's happiness was coupled with apprehension.

It had been eight years since he'd seen his homeworld. Isa had changed so much from the carefree boy from Radiant Garden. And he was sure the world itself would be virtually unrecognizable after what had happened. And yet, he was desperate to see it again. More than anything, he wanted to go home.

A prick of light in the distance, and Isa caught his first glance of Radiant Garden since its fall. His chest tightened at the sight.

"Dim the displays," he heard himself saying.

Cid glanced back at him, an eyebrow raised. It was possible to darken the windshields and fly by electronics alone, but Cid felt like it was a little less reliable than his own eyes.

"Y'sure about that?"

Isa let his gaze slide to the wall, a light scowl on his face.

"Yes. If you would be so kind."

Cid shrugged. "Alright then," he said as he flicked the appropriate switch.

As they touched down, Isa closed his eyes briefly. He was feeling a bit overwhelmed. Yuffie, however, was bouncing in her seat, beside herself with excitement.

"C'mon, c'mon, open the doors, Cid!"

"Alright, alright! Calm down, it ain't goin' nowhere." Cid grumbled goodnaturedly. Aerith just smiled, though.

"It's natural for her to be excited. She was only five when we left, after all. For her it'll be like being on a completely new world."

"That's true enough," Cid said. He reached up to deploy the door, and fresh air flooded into the cabin. "Jes' don't hurt yerself, kid."

Yuffie practically leapt up, dashing straight out of the gummi. The minute she set foot outside though, she winced, staggering back with a little noise of complaint.

"Ahh, my eyes!" she whined, shielding her eyes with her forearm. "It's _way_ too bright!"

Squall stepped out beside her, squinting and wincing as well.

"It's the sun, Yuf. Remember?"

"You didn't tell me it was this bright!"

"Of course we did," Aerith stepped out to stand with her siblings, shielding her eyes with her hand. "But if you didn't remember it, how could we make you understand? You really just have to see it."

Isa, though, was still in the cabin of the Gummi, his eyes closed. The smell of the air had hit him hard; it brought back all the memories of his youth, and made his return real. He breathed it in slowly, and then back out again. Cid glanced at him, and with a small shake of his head, left him alone in the ship.

Isa felt warmth on his hands, and so he opened his eyes. A shaft of sunlight fell across his lap from the open door. Isa's hands looked so pale; well, of course. It was always night in Traverse Town. The sun's light hadn't touched them in eight years. Slowly, Isa stood, and made his way to the door. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes again, and stepped out into the sunlight.

Even with his eyes closed, the light was so bright that it was painful. It shone through his eyelids, brighter than he remembered. The memory of a thing really did no justice to the original, Isa realized with a pang. But he didn't mind the stinging, or the headache. He knew he would readjust to the light in time. He turned his face to the heavens as natural warmth suffused him. Then, he opened his eyes.

He knew staring into the sun was dangerous, but just this once, he couldn't help himself. The light burned, but Isa didn't care. He had to see it for himself. To make it real.

Though the others left, to explore their new (old) home and find lodgings and food, Isa stayed where he was, beneath the sun, until it sunk below the horizon.

But that was alright. In the morning, it would be back.


End file.
